Online dating and rejection

Despite my reservations, this past year I pursued romance via mobile apps, aggressively.I discerned one very clear difference between online dating and the old fashioned way: Finding out that people aren’t interested in seeing you costs a lot more money because you aren’t introduced in person.While reporting a story on the transition of one analog artform into digital, one of my sources wrote that digitizing anything that can be is part of today’s natural course.To bolster the point, my correspondent drew a parallel in an email, writing “Internet dating is just—dating.”It’s a good point, but, despite being a tech reporter, I resisted online dating for a very long time because I had a feeling it wouldn’t change my experience, fundamentally.You follow up, you wait, things usually don’t pan out.When you do find success, you realize that it came the way most things in life happen — organically, through people you know.

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From childhood, men have been brought up to be fierce competitors, to opt for the most risky jobs, to put themselves on the line, to accept rejection “like a man” and to always make the first move.“We met on Tinder, and now we’re in a happy relationship!” a friend exclaims as they stroke the shoulder of their beloved.In only five months of dating online, I met just as many desirable partners as in the entire prior year—roughly a dozen—from 30 or more total app-powered in-person meetings, which cost something like 00 to 00 all together.I would argue that I’m a particularly good test case for this proposition.You use the internet to varying degrees of success, clicking and writing emails and then clicking some more, and sometimes, if the cards are in your favor and the stars align, you end up meeting a stranger in a public setting and make awkward small talk while wearing shoes that pinch your toes and more makeup than you would for a Tuesday.

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